Taken, handicapped, or way out there? Hardly.

So, there you are, 25, good looking, smart, and the only one of your friends who is still single. Frustrated, you whine about how all the good men are taken, and spend weekends in bars and clubs trying to meet the perfect man. You go out on a date or two with some guy you met, maybe it even lasts for a few months, but before to long, you find yourself single again because it just wasn't working out. Out you go again, this time it's the new guy in your apartment building who helped you scrape off your car that snowy day. But he turns out to be a little bit too friendly with all the other girls in the building, and you break it off, wondering where all the good men have gone.

Truly, they still exist, but you just can't get to know them. The way we go about meeting people is fundamentally flawed. We seem to have some bizarre expectation that people we meet and begin to date after our first few meetings have a chance at being our soul mate. This is very much like looking for a needle in a haystack. While certainly, every now and again you hear of people who have met and live long and happy lives together after such a meeting, the probability of this happening is very low. It forces us to stumble through, meeting a huge number of people before we finally happen upon the right one.

This long process is what ensures that you are still single. You have simply not come across the right person yet. You have two options at this point, you can either continue on this path, and hope that you come upon your dreams before you turn forty, or you can change your strategy for finding them.

There is nothing wrong with going out to a bar with friends, or even meeting people there. The problem comes when we begin to date the men we meet. I know that sounds a little bit counter-intuitive, but wasting time with men who aren't right for you is nothing short of stupid. The first thing to understand is that it is very important to know what you want in a man. Make a list. Seriously. Does he have to love dogs? What if his religion is different then yours, can you live with that? Sit down for a while and really think about what you want. Be honest with yourself and don't romanticize, tall dark and handsome is not for everyone. Don't date people who don't fit the majority of your list. It's as simple as that. Can't live without your dogs? Well then, go places where you know other dog lovers with be. Don't waver on the most important things on your list. You will only end up being hurt when serious issues arise in your relationship that could have been avoided by knowing what you want in a man. So, take a deep breath, and quit dating every cute guy who asks you. Give it some time and find out if he will really make you happy before you plunge into an emotional commitment.

Emma