There is an old adage that opposites attract, and it is very true. Now, this doesn't mean that as the die-hard liberal that you are, you should look for a man at a Ron Paul rally. You should always look for someone who has the same basic ideals as you, but who has a complimentary personality. Are you impulsive and outgoing? When you begin a relationship with someone who is the same, it will undoubtedly be very exciting at first. When you want to blow off work and spend the day relaxing and spending time with him, he will be excited to have found someone who loves adventure as much as he. Before too long however, this spontaneity will begin to wear, and you will find yourself late for work and in a bad position with your boss.
You need someone who will look at you like you're crazy when you want to play hooky. He is the stable force you need, and conversely, you are the exciting vibrant and compulsive person he needs. This is true for almost every aspect of personality. Are you Shy? Find someone who forces you out of your comfort zone. This is however, a sliding scale. The shyer you are, the more outgoing he needs to be. But, as you approach the middle ground (you aren't the most outgoing person ever, but you don't have a problem meeting people), you and he should find yourselves to be similar.
For example, I am an outgoing person. I always have been. My assumption was that I needed someone who was quiet and would let me do most of the work in a conversation. As I got to know more and more people however, I began to realize that the men who I thought would be good for me were far too introverted. I simply could not carry on an interesting conversation with these people. I have changed my stance on what my perfect man is based on this, I needed someone who is a little bit closer to me on the scale. So think about your extremes. You should look for someone who has the opposite extreme. This certainly doesn't apply with every part of your personality, but should be considered when looking for a life-long mate.
Emma
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The Myers-Briggs personality test is a good place to start to find out what is important and what you can let slide. Complete opposites on the Myers-Briggs scale will have a hard time working together. One will only be happy when a task is completed, while the other wants to leave things open ended. If you are on the far end of the scale on this, it will cause tension, but if you are more toward the center, the opposites can be complementary. Figure out what your non-negotiables are and stick to them, but if you would like to change some of your hard-wiring and loosen up, your opposite will be the one to help you along.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your input, I do recommend the Myers-Briggs personality test, it is a good resource. I would mostly agree with you, but I do believe that people need to have one or two aspects of their personality be extremely different from their mate. But you are right, it should not be something that will drive you crazy, but rather something that will help you become more relaxed (or rigid) about a habit.
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